I'm not sure if you've heard... and you should probably keep this "on the down low," as the kids nowadays like to say... but I'm going to let you in on a little secret... let's just say Señor Misterioso may or may not be tied to every conspiracy known to mankind. Or not known to mankind. That's how deep into the mire he is. Or he isn't. He might be the Illuminati. Yes, the whole thing. Singlehandedly. Really, who could say?

He is so mysterious that sometimes he even lives in the console of my best friend's truck... inexplicably glowing in the shadows.

What I really want to know is... who tailors his amazing suits? His taste in three piece radioactive couture is impeccable.