You know how you feel when people ask about the provenance of your stuff? Like, maybe the hemp is cruelty-free, but what about the the dyes, or the human cost, or harvesting of material and blah blah blah and you start to feel tired and sort of annoyed at the person asking, like what are you supposed to do, build the sneakers yourself? That's where Swiss towel company Bonjour comes in. Trust me. They're cruelty-free. But if you're the person asking, they're microfiber from beech wood, which is farmed in Scandinavia under strictly controlled forestry conditions, made in Switzerland, colored with nontoxic colorfast dyes, and the only human cost is the $132 you'll shell out for a set of 4 at Branch. So leave me alone.
The Hitchhiker's Guide doesn't lie. This is the only thing you need if you end up in space.