~Just $49.95 for up to 1,000 photo scans or Fill the Box for $124.95~

I can name all the Sweathogs from 'Welcome Back, Kotter'...

My perfume in 8th grade? Love's Baby Soft.

I sported a killer Dorothy Hamill haircut at one point in life.

And my first girl-girl crush? Jaclyn Smith on Charlie's Angels. Only then it was on at prime time, not pulled from a DVD sleeve. (Sidenote: I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted her to be my mom. Trust me, that creeps me out more than it's creeping you out right now. I'm the one who has to live with memories of the "ooh, she looks so pretty making my sandwich for school" fantasies.)

ANYWAY, the point of all of that is that I'm not young. I'm old enough to have boxes and boxes (make that cupboards and closets if we're aiming for accuracy) of 35 mm photos giving me a digital finger every time I cross their path here in the house.

And oh the guilt.... I am Irish, after all. I lay awake thinking of what would be lost if fires, floods or swarms of locusts ever ravaged the house. The irreplaceable images of my deceased father.... my oldest daughter's first few years.... (all I need is a coon dog and I've got the makings of a sad, sad and very bad country and western song here I think....)

These days, instead of fantasizing about Jaclyn, I dream of a herd of midget minions who live in my basement and toil night and day placing my old photos on flatbed scanners. If I won the lotto? Oh yeah, I would SO be hiring a crew like that.

Ah, but wait! There is an alternative! For an incredibly reasonable price and lightning fast turnaround service, this company will BE your midget army. Only taller.

from the site:
"Pay just $49.95 for up to 1,000 photo scans, or order our famous prepaid fill-the-box service for just $124.95. Your photographs are professionally scanned as 300 dpi JPEG files onto a DVD-R data disc."