You might be a redneck if ... the blue book value of your car goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. My local liquor store has a redneck joke-a-day calendar, and I always read ahead when I'm in there and laugh my *** off. This is an e-calendar, to put on your computer. A great way to start the workday -- as long as you don't waste time reading ahead!
You might be a redneck if... you think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. Or if your Junior Prom offered daycare... Or if you think the last four words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."