Maybe it's just me, but I think that garroting oneself with skeleton keys on a string is probably not the best way to keep a secret. Unless, of course, the secrets are in one's head and one plans to keep them by making one's head come off of one's body so that it can no longer speak or make knowing faces or nod.

So yeah. It might work. I take it back.

"Full bleed professional 4x6 print on archival paper, signed on the back...: