Ribcap padded hat
Helmet hat? Hat helmet? Call the Ribcap padded knit beanie what you will, it'll keep you from calling 9-1-1. (See what I did there? Yeah, baby: homonym wordplay. It's the kind of elite-level word-smithing available only to those who haven't bashed their helmetless heads into trees/rocks/snowguns while going 40 mph. To be clear, Ribcaps don't comply with helmet standards. But if you aren't wearing a helmet already, Ribcaps's "protectors" aren't a bad way to prevent involuntary action-sports lobotomy.
I'M NOT EXACTLY ONE FOR HEAD GEAR! BUT THIS RIBCAP PADDED HAT IS PRETTY TEMPTING! I WENT THROUGH A PERIOD WHERE I WORE BEANIES 24 HOURS A DAY. THIS CAP MIGHT DRAW ME BACK INTO ANOTHER HELMET ERA! IF YOU'VE SEEN GARDEN STATE IT LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE HELMET/HAT NATALIE PORTMAN WEARS A LOT!