I've been searching for these shoes for, what seems like, an eternity. Finally, Urban Outfitters pulls through.

Perhaps most importantly, no hipster attire is complete without the appropriate kicks. It's up to the shoes to really bring home the ironical perception you're trying to portray. Look at yourself, you're the least athletic person in a 50 mile radius. Why would you ever need hightop running shoes? You wouldn't and that's the beauty of it.