Child Torment 101 - a list by DLP

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They're only young once... so dress them up funny, get out your camera, and document, document, document... you'll need the leverage when they turn 15.

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Viewing 21-30 of 54 Items

Squid Soap

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

Squid Soap is supposed to help kids learn that it's better to wash your hands for 15 to 20 seconds. It makes an ink mark on their hands when they push down on the pump, so they have to wash the ink off. And that takes 15 to 20 seconds.

If you don't tell them why the ink is there, they are not likely to connect the two concepts. They will just think the dispenser is dirty. Or weird. And it is. But that's where good parenting comes in, isn't it? In which case, couldn't you tell your munchkins to wash their hands longer and just tell them why?

Am I overthinking this?

Probably.

But it's weird! It's a squid! And that's why I like it. Especially in purple. (via Jeremy)

Updated Aug 12, 2008

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Wonder Bread Baby Costumes

First to recommend

Description

Ever wonder what Wonder Woman wore when she was just a Wonder Baby? Because I wonder....

Updated Sep 2, 2008

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Baby Bottom Fan

First to recommend

Description

This is for fanning a baby's bottom. Hence the name "baby bottom fan."

"Sooths your baby from agony."

I think I'M in agony.

WTF.

Updated Jul 28, 2008

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Be A Doll

2 people recommended this item

Description

Because then I can take my me doll and have it make out with that hot Han Solo action figure.

A custom doll made from a photo. This might be a good idea or a bad idea. (via DLP)

Updated Jul 21, 2008

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Bullet Proof Baby Stroller

First to recommend

Description

I need this because my kids are going to be so important that people send robots from the future to try and destroy them, me, my parents, my grandparents....

I'm going to have to start lifting some iron here in the asylum. Must protect the cubs. And this is the perfect addition to my well stocked arsenal.

Sarah Connor ain't got nothin' on me, pal.

Just sayin'.

Updated Jul 17, 2008

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The Roddler

4 people recommended this item

Description

Customized baby strollers that are basically a cross between a hot rod and a stroller. These things have vintage fenders. Further proof that men are designing these things... because when women are pushing strollers, they're really thinking, "Gee, I wish this puppy had some white walls and a pimped out pearl paint job." Yup, that's what women really want....

Come on... who doesn't want Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?!

Updated Jul 17, 2008

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Sea Otter Costume

First to recommend

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Laugh now, Mom. You won't be laughing when you get the therapy bill.

Updated Jun 19, 2008

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Ride-On Carry On

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

Yeah, that's pretty much a lawn chair strapped to a suitcase. Yeah, your kid is supposed to sit in there, strapped in, while you drag it around so you won't need a stroller on top of schlepping your luggage. This is mad genius. I love it.

Updated Jul 17, 2008

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Star Wars AT-AT Baby Stroller

First to recommend

Description

How to turn your child into a geek before age one....

Then again, if that's your kid and you make this for your kid, I'm not saying there's not already a good statistical chance at geekdom via genes alone. Now, I'm not meaning to get into this whole nature vs. nurture argument. And we certainly might be confusing the causality here....

But there is an obvious positive correlation. This cannot be denied.

Updated Jul 17, 2008

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Viewing 21-30 of 54 Items

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