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Gifts for People You Love/Hate - a list by TerryBain
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About this list:
You know, sometimes gifts for the people you love are exactly the same as gifts for the people you hate. This list is for those exact people. And you get to decide which it is. Love. Hate. You know, sometimes those emotions are right exactly next to each other.
Qualifications:
I'm me.
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Jam's World Theory Three-quarter-sleeve Print Top
First to recommend
Description
Deemed by many to be the "world's ugliest shirt," I was just thinking that this (admittedly overwroght) shirt is definitely going to be big just exactly the moment they sell out of them at overstock.com. I half-expect to see the entire Beijing swimming facility filled up with people wearing only this shirt, some anti-gravity speedos, and Nike flip-flops.
So hot...
Updated Aug 6, 2008
List that features this:
Henkel Duck 1.88-Inch-by-15-Yard Colored Duck Tape, Chrome #00-03365
First to recommend
Description
At our house we use a lot of duct tape. Or rather, my son and I use a lot of duct tape. And, admittedly, sometimes it's just me using a lot of duct tape. My brand of choice is the Henkel "Duck" brand. It comes off the roll smoothly, rips easily (if you prefer a rip) and is as strong or stronger than you would expect duct tape to be, even on regular duct-type jobs (it's not just another pretty face). Furthermore? It comes in a rather dizzying variety of bright colors, my favorite of which is Chrome (shown here), in part because you'd barely recognize it as duct tape unless you held it in your hand and pulled a strip off and taped the side panel of the microwave back on with it.
We use it for crafts like making journals and camera cases and flip-flops, but we also use it for the everyday duct-taping tasks (did you know you can tape ducts with duct tape?... it's true!).
Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure this is the stuff that is holding the internet together. If your connection is running slow lately, I recommend this stuff. It won't make it go any faster, but you'll have something to play with while you download season two of Robin Hood.
Updated Aug 5, 2008
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Yes - All About Me Women's Dark T-Shirt
First to recommend
Description
I don't think I need to explain this. When it's all about me, or rather, you, then, well, maybe you should look into this little ditty of a shirt for yourself. Or get someone to buy it for you. As a gift. You know?
Updated Aug 4, 2008
Tuxedo T-shirt
First to recommend
Description
This t-shirt is so stupid (and I do mean stupid and not stoo-pid) that it's bound to make comeback any second now. Or it already did and I missed it. Or it already did and I didn't miss it but forgot about it and now it's about to make a second comeback, or third comeback, and will soon pulsate like twin stars that rotate every ten or twenty milliseconds. Because a shirt like this just has too much mass to stay hidden for long.
Updated Jul 30, 2008
The only things standing between us and our Olympic dreams are that we're out-of-shape, apathetic, and...
First to recommend
Description
It's true, you know. Mostly. Also? Well, I just have other things to do. Especially today.
Updated Jul 30, 2008
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Shape Up! Alarm Clock
2 people recommended this item
Description
An alarm clock that keeps ringing until you've done 30 reps? That's definitely one of those gift items where the receiver wonders if you like them or not. Indeed, this makes the thing desirable to me as a gift item.
If I send you one, you may never know for sure.
Updated Jul 27, 2008
Oscar Schmidt OU2 Ukulele
First to recommend
Description
This is my axe. I love my axe. My son wants me to play Twisted Sister on the Ukulele, but I have enough trouble playing SpongeBob. But I still love it. To play. Also, mine is a slightly different color than this, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't affect the sound quality.
Does it?
Okay then. Enjoy.
Updated Jul 24, 2008
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Nothing
32 people recommended this item
Description
Perfect gift for my Mother in Law...who has Everything and wants Nothing! Wish I thought of this idea.
Updated Nov 29, 2007
'live mindfully' organic cotton men's tee
First to recommend
Description
Mindfulness is one of my favorite topics of thought, of discussion, of living. And having a t-shirt that says "live mindfully"? That's awesome. And makes me think people will stop and ask. "What do you mean by that?" Because if you have something on a t-shirt, maybe it says something about you, but maybe it starts a discussion. Wouldn't it be terrific if every time somebody found out something about you, instead of acting like thy knew everything about you, they tried to get to know you instead?
That would be awesome.
And so is this t-shirt.
Updated Jul 22, 2008
Arrow Through The Head Gag
First to recommend
Description
Maybe the hilarious "arrow through the head" gag isn't coming back... but it really should, don't you think? And right now? Because everyone needs a good gag.
Updated Jul 16, 2008
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TerryBain
Author of You Are a Dog and We Are the Cat (funny books, you know).
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