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Childhood Product Trauma

Recommendations

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Premo! Sculpey®

Updated Jul 15, 2008

1st to recommend

Description

Ahhh Sculpey such fine fine memories with you. I was one crafty bastard when I was a kid and boy could I make a Sculpey animal. One evening my brother and I were making animals... he made a turtle I made a moose. Well, he pissed me off so I smashed his turtle. I have never seen someone cry so hard over clay so naturally my parents taught me a lesson called paybacks a bitch and they smashed my moose. That was one good looking moose too.

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Commercial All-Steel Standard Folding Chair

Updated Jun 6, 2007

1st to recommend

Description

Remember the heavy metal folding chairs from the 1980's? I sure do- I have been folded into them during an innocent game of musical chairs. Not pretty, especially when you are 8 yrs old.

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Rubik's Cube

Updated Jun 6, 2007

4 people recommended this item

Description

This is not the Rubik's Cube from my childhood, it was actually a Christmas themed cube...but the toy is traumatic all the same. My brother and I are no geniuses when it came to this toy so we of course did what any childhood idiot would do-- ripped the damn stickers off and put them back on, ran up to my parents to show them how smart their children were. It worked once but taking off the stickers again and again eventually ruined the cube. My parents were not pleased.

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Child's Play

Updated Sep 6, 2007

1st to recommend

Description

I can say this with confidence.... this movie ruined my life.

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ACE Pocket Comb

Updated Jun 6, 2007

1st to recommend

Description

Damn you pocket comb! You were never and will never be strong enough for my hair yet every school picture day I am handed one of these and expected to comb my hair. Puh-leaze.

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Mr Sketch Assorted Scent Markers

Updated Jul 15, 2008

1st to recommend

Description

Eck, where do I begin on this one.

It was my first year of kindergarten (yes my first...shut up) and I colored in a kids face in a coloring book purple- I can color it however I like--zip it! Any way the ridicule that came from the other children was just horrible. Did you know I was accused of eating butter, what kind of insult is that anyhow?

I never look at butter the same way now. Kids can be so cruel.

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Hellmann's® | Real Mayonnaise

Updated Jun 6, 2007

1st to recommend

Description

Mayonnaise is a very traumatic product for me... not only is it fattening but my own mother used to slather the white stuff into my hair as a child in order to tame my wild hair. She believed it was a conditioning agent- when really the only thing it did was cause me to smell like a sandwich.

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Goody

Updated Jun 6, 2007

2 people recommended this item

Description

If only they made the ouchless version when I was a child. The hair elastics of my childhood had that big hunk of metal in the middle and have metallic threads woven through- I have to cut a many a hair elastic out of my childhood hair.

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Soft & Beautiful Just For Me, No-Lye Hair Relaxer Coarse for Children By Proline - Kit

Updated Jan 27, 2008

1st to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

Sting burn....oh the traumas of getting straight hair. I had so much hair back then I needed two boxes.

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Del Monte Golden Sweet Whole Kernel Corn, No Salt Added

Updated Jun 6, 2007

1st to recommend

Description

I HATE canned veggies and I HATE canned corn the most- my parents used to make me eat this as a child...never again.

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Scout Swing Set Kit

Updated Jun 6, 2007

1st to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

Back in the 80's metal swing sets were where its at! But since those days I have passed I will have to recommend this one... and the metal is part of the trauma too.

I was running around- playing kick the can to be exact when I ran into a sharp metal edge on the swing set.... busted my knee right open ( I still have the scar to prove it)

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Alder Wood

Updated May 20, 2008

1st to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

I want to bring my Dad down memory lane this Father's Day with some wood.

You see, back when I was a child I was bad ... kinda like I am now. So one day he took my brother and I out to the garage after we did something bad (I can't remember what we did, probably said something evil to a neighbor).

Anyways ...

We head to garage, he gets out the tool set and starts cutting wood with the electric saw as my brother and I watch with our mouths hanging open.

My dad makes a paddle.

He cuts wind holes in it, paints it garage-floor blue, and once it dried he wrote the "rules" on it. Along with the rules came how many times he would beat our a$$ with the paddle.

Yeah, fear at it's finest.

He never had to use the paddle, I dont' think he had any intention to ... the fear was enough to scare us straight -- at least during my childhood years ;) Love ya Dad!

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About this list
I didn't have a traumatic childhood or anything but I did have some childhood product trauma.
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