Aswan-Approved Placenta-Based Products - a list by designdude

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About this list:

You know how sometimes you work with dudes and they talk a lot about having babies and you just think they're Mormon or something? Watch out, because it can lead to the revelation of an unhealthy relationship to the least appealing elements of birth. Take it from me -- once your coworkers start talking about recycling placenta, step to the other side of the office.

Qualifications:

I work with this guy who shall go unnamed. But he's Aswan.

This is:

Viewing 1-9 of 9 Items

NuHealth Sheep Placenta

First to recommend

Description

You might be surprised how nutrient-rich sheep placenta can be. You might be surprised to find someone eating sheep placenta. This product would be about 8000X better if the softgells looked like little sheep, but I suppose that's too much to ask.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

For people who like:

1 comment

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Super Natural Placenta Creme

First to recommend

Description

It's a little-known fact that the real antidote to aging is placenta. Sort of makes sense, though -- nothing says youth quite as literally as afterbirth. This SPF8 facial moisturizer is also designed for use both day and night.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

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Super Placenta

First to recommend

Description

It's marginally amazing that there's a consumer product out there called Super Placenta. This ingredient list on this stuff not only includes sheep placenta, but also pure red deer antler velvet. I don't even know what that means, but it sounds totally awesome.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

For people who like:

  • antler velvet
  • IGFs
  • pure red deer antler velvet
  • red deer antler velvet

2 comments

Lanolin Cream with Placenta

First to recommend

Description

Kind of sad to imagine a little girl sneaking into her mother's bathroom cabinet to play with her grooming products for years, always being charmed by the pink jar with the cute sheep on the side. What kind of wide-eyed horror comes from the realization that the sheep on the side of this jar refers to the bits of foetomaternal organs of sheep? I mean, it's kind of funny, too. But kind of sad.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

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Eko Placenta Shampoo

First to recommend

Description

The problem with most placenta-based haircare products is that there's no real style to the presentation. But the kids are into putting animal afterbirth in their hair, too. Come on marketing departments. Get with the program.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

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Placenta Hot Oil Treatment

First to recommend

Description

I have to wonders how big the dividing line between Placenta Hot Oil Treatment and lamb stew. You shouldn't put lamb stew in your hair -- I know that much.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

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La Bella Placenta & Vitamin E Shampoo

First to recommend

Description

Two things I always look for in a shampoo: vitamin E and placenta. Developed specifically for damaged hair, this shampoo might be appropriate for individuals who possess a broader range of damaged goods. But there's nothing wrong with putting animal afterbirth in your hair.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

For people who like:

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Placenta Night Cream

First to recommend

Description

Nothing soothes and revitalizes dry and damaged skin at night like sheep placenta. Designed to moisturize your skin as you sleep, one imagines the calming effects of visions of sheep afterbirth dancing in one's head.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

For people who like:

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Hask Placenta & Henna Packettes

First to recommend

Description

I love these two-ounce packets because you really never know when you're going to need some placenta on the go. One of "nature's most complete hair conditioners," placenta is simply too important to the vitality of your hair not to have on hand at all times.

Updated Aug 14, 2008

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Viewing 1-9 of 9 Items

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