Accoutrements for an Early Mid-Life Crisis - a list by tatorandtots

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About this list:

From the dictionary: A crisis (plural: crises): an unstable and dangerous social situation. I am SO DUE for a "get out of jail free card" to use in dangerous social situations of my own creation. Perhaps the theme should be "S.O.S.": Slut off Sabbatical. Who knows. All I know is that I'm 37 and in the mood to raise a little hell. I'll be packing the things on this list in a flame-retardant picnic basket for the adventure. Grab a great bra and join me.

Qualifications:

I can rock cleavage better than girls half my age. Bring it.

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Viewing 41-50 of 125 Items

honey - i wanna get crazy tonight. and i'm not gonna lie- things may get a bit weird | wrongcards ecards

First to recommend

Description

wrongcards | ecards that are wrong for every occasion!
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I send these with wild abandon, scattering them like a cyber lawn sprinkler. Check out all their themes- and be sure to click on the "Shopping" link. Funny, funny.

From the site:
Wrongcards.com is possibly the most curious ecard site on the web. Offering a wrong card for every occasion, you may find here greeting cards with a unique freshness and originality. Each card is lovingly inked on fresh parchment by an emotionally mature artist, committed only to the causes of good taste and judgment.

Updated Jun 12, 2008

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{Feeling Horny?} > Ecard from Hipster Cards

First to recommend

Description

From highball hilarity to lowbrow mundanity, Hipstercards.com is your one stop shop for online missives.

Updated Jun 13, 2008

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"I Like it on Top" T-Shirt

First to recommend

Description

If I described "why I love this" I'd charge you $2.99/word to read it. Ha.

Let's just say it's a fun shirt.

Updated Jan 4, 2008

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I Want YOU! Condom Cover

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

Great for carrying extra protection onto an airplane. You never know when it may come in handy.

Note: if you flip it out unfolded with a deft wrist gesture and then quickly put it back, you might be able to pass it off as an air marshal's badge and get out of a sticky situation.

FYI If you don't check out all the image options......well, you're just plain crazy.

Updated Aug 13, 2008

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JunkMail Greetings

First to recommend

Description

Oh how I love this site. You just have to flip through the various greetings. You will laugh out loud.

"I admire your low standards."
"Good luck with that."
"And to think your mother said you'd never amount to anything."
"It's not me. It's you."

Just to name a few....

Updated Jun 10, 2008

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X-Rated Shots: More than 50 Shots We Dare You to Say Out Loud

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

This is one of those "Under $5" items I like to keep stashed in a box in the hall closet for all the times (and there are a LOT of times) when I need to grab a last-minute hostess/birthday/random event gift and have no time to do it. Or forgot. Which is more likely.

Pair it with a bottle of "fun booze" that you grab at the nearest store and voila! You look thoughtful.

Great addition to a bachelorette/bachelor party or a breakup/divorce gift basket.

Also fun for your own parties. Leave it on the counter with a variety of mixes and fixins' that are found in recipes inside and laugh when you see who decides to make what.

Updated May 20, 2008

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Ex-Boyfriend

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

"You don't want it. He can't have it back."

This is my new favorite thing ever. Oh. My. God. It's like Ebay but for "ex"bling. You can buy or sell jewelry given by exes- and read the story that accompanies each piece's past or post yours. I. Love. This. Site.

Updated May 21, 2008

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You Say 'tomato' I say 'shut the hell up' Card

First to recommend

Description

JunkMail Greetings ::: {say something}

Oh how I love this site. You just have to flip through the various greetings. You will laugh out loud.

"I admire your low standards."
"Good luck with that."
"And to think your mother said you'd never amount to anything."
"It's not me. It's you."

Just to name a few....

Updated Jun 11, 2008

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Handcuff Fishnet Thigh Highs

First to recommend

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Keep a pair in your glovebox for speeding ticket negotiations....

Updated Aug 9, 2008

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Viewing 41-50 of 125 Items

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