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7(teen) Habits of a Highly Effective Hipster - a list by chad
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About this list:
What I mean by habits is products and what I mean by hipster isn't me. A hipster, however, would never make a list admitting hipsterness (unless being utterly ironic). A hipster doesn't give a shit, but would never admit to being a Hipster. However -- they're entirely too busy blogging about indie music, drinking PBR, thriftstore shopping, ridding vintage bikes or rolling their own cigarettes to talk to someone like you. So, I thought I'd clarify, once and for all -- this is what hipsters like.
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Organic Baby Rib Men's Brief - Organics
4 people recommended this item
Description
If you strip a hipster down to his skimpies, they're still unquestionably recognizably hipster. It could be because of the striped knee-high socks (with holes in the toes) or the whining voice of Thom Yorke they always have playing when they take of their clothes, but more than likely it's the brightly colored underwear.
The briefs serve to major purposes. First they're a beacon of confidence shined directly at the sophomore in college they're about to sleep with, hopefully distracting her from the pathetically emotional nookie she's about to be involved in. Secondly, they serve as an every morning reminder reaffirming to the hipster just who they are, as the stare in the mirror and say something ironic like, "damn it feels good to be a gangsta."
Updated Mar 5, 2009
Super Red, White And Blue Sunglasses
First to recommend
Description
Continuing with the theme of spending lots to look like you spent nothing, these shades are the quintessential hipster sunglasses. First of all, all hipsters wear sunglasses, always -- regardless of the climatic conditions. Some may say it's all about the Ray Ban wayfarer. I say, those work too. These just work better.
Updated Mar 9, 2009
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Wavvves: Wavves
First to recommend
Description
If you want to know what exactly hipsters listen to, it's this. However, by the time you're reading this -- pitchfork will have already reviewed it and, therefore, spread it to the masses and rendered it significantly less interesting to hipsters.
Updated Mar 5, 2009
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Asics Saiko Runner
2 people recommended this item
Description
Perhaps most importantly, no hipster attire is complete without the appropriate kicks. It's up to the shoes to really bring home the ironical perception you're trying to portray. Look at yourself, you're the least athletic person in a 50 mile radius. Why would you ever need hightop running shoes? You wouldn't and that's the beauty of it.
Updated Mar 5, 2009
Nudie Dry Stretch Thin Finns
First to recommend
2 people recommended this item
Description
A genuine hipster eternally lives in opposite day -- where a girl dressing like a guy is fly and a guy like a girl is equally expected. So, for bellow the waste, it's exclusively short shorts (that are probably OP from the 80s) or skinny jeans. Preferably, the denim is overpriced and not meant to be washed. Meet Nudie Thin Finns in Dry, the ultimate hipster jean.
Updated Mar 5, 2009
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Franco Says Relax
First to recommend
Description
A hipster use to would have worn a "Frankie Say's Relax" T-shirt. However, it's now become entirely too much of a cliche. So, they've sold back all of those tees to thrift stores. However, they would gladly plug their favorite actor from Freaks and Geeks, James Franco through this pun of a shirt.
Note on hipster t-shirts. They either say something ironic, have an ironic graphic or are brightly neon colored.
Updated Mar 6, 2009
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Members Only Jackets
First to recommend
Description
Few things scream hipster as loudly as a Members Only jacket. Given, the scream is more authentic with a vintage one. I think the new throwbacks are just as effective.
Updated Mar 5, 2009
Pabst Blue Ribbon
First to recommend
3 people recommended this item
Description
Hipsters exclusively drink Pabst Blue Ribbon -- every one, every time.Oh, but they'll never call it Pabst. It's know only as PBR.
Updated Mar 5, 2009
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Amazing Vintage Black Wayfarer Reading Glasses
First to recommend
2 people recommended this item
Description
The 60s favourite wayfarer frame translated into a pair of reading glasses. For the grooviest scholar in your family!
Updated Mar 15, 2008
Plan 9 from Outer Space
2 people recommended this item
Description
Widely considered the worst movie ever made, Plan 9 is precisely the type of movie that hipsters like. Like everything else in their lives, it's not because of the quality, but because of the irony -- the irony of intentionally watching a movie because it is so horrible. In this case though, laughter is inevitable.
Updated Mar 6, 2009
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