WHAT?!? You don't own a..... - a list by Taffastrophe

Options for This Page

About this list:

Things everyone should own.

For people who like:

This is:

Viewing 1-10 of 13 Items

Bion Gentleman's Personal Grooming Kit

First to recommend

Description

It's under 10 bucks. It gets rid of stray hairs. It slices, it dices, it... well, okay. All it does is trim hair. But have you taken a look around lately? Millions and millions of people seem to be ignorant of the idea that having a forest growing out of your ears/noses is just ugly.

For the younger people who still care about sex, this can also be used for trimming underarm hair and... ahem... other areas as well.

But really: Less than 10 bucks! A nice, neat appearance! Go buy this!

Updated Aug 10, 2008

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

4 Person Deluxe Survival Kit

4 people recommended this item

Description

According to our far-left liberal friends, Bush is responsible for Hurricane Katrina. As such, we should all be prepared for the next President-caused natural disaster. Because, you know, those damn sneaky Presidents are always trying to screw with us.

But in all seriousness, not having a survival kit in your home is just plain foolish. Brimming with accessories that you'll desperately need the next time your power goes out for two days, this handy little kit has it all in and stores neatly in a small 5-gallon bucket.

For an extra 10 bucks, you can even get the toilet seat lid. Just make sure you take all of your supplies out BEFORE you relieve yourself.

Updated Aug 9, 2008

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Is that a Buck in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

First to recommend

Description

Buck knives are just great. Not only do they look good, but let's face it: Everyone should own a pocketknife. Just about everyone needs one.

Can't get those stupid CD wrappers open?
Pocketknife.

Screws in your glasses keep getting loose?
Pocketknife.

Opening Christmas presents from trashy relatives who think you can never use too much tape?
Pocketknife.

Need to cut some string so that you can tease your adorable little kitten?
Pocketknife.

Need to get rid of the kitten because it keeps pissing on the floor?
Well, you get the idea...

When I leave the house, I always check for the "Big 5": Keys, wallet, cigarettes, cell phone, and pocketknife. If I manage to quit smoking, it'll be down to the Big 4, but I use this as an example of how important I consider pocketknives to be. They're tremendously useful in everyday life... and if you don't want to go that "other" route and pick up some pepper spray, well, they're pretty handy in a knife fight, too. Just don't bring them to a gun fight.

Updated Aug 9, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Portable GPS systems

First to recommend

Description

Every once in a while, you hear about hikers who get lost in the wilderness. A lot of times, they get into terrain and/or weather from which they can't extricate themselves. Most of the time, though, they just get plain-old lost. GPS solves that little issue.

Also, for those of you who hunt and fish, marking good spots and accurately finding them again is a snap. For hikers, marking the start of a trail that you love is extremely useful; for birdwatchers, marking the hollow-nest of a prothonotary warbler or an eagle's aerie can help you get those elusive photos.

In short, everyone who ventures outside city limits should own a GPS system.

Updated Aug 11, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Pepper spray -- hilariously effective!

First to recommend

Description

There's an old saying that goes, "God didn't create All Men Equal. Samuel Colt did." Of course, that was before liberals started their war against self-preservation, leaving many American citizens living in states where they can't legally carry firearms for protection.

Well, good news! Pepper spray is legal, effective, and when used on unsuspecting street performers, a helluva lot of fun. I personally recommend the $5.95 keychain model; it fits right in your pocket or purse, and could save your life at some point.

Updated Aug 9, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

1 comment

This is:

Coleman - 62 Quart Wheeled Xtreme Cooler

First to recommend

Description

Whether you're into week-long camping trips, backyard barbeques, or a 9am tailgate before a football game, a good cooler is a must. These Colemans keep your drinks colder than any other cooler out there, so much so that I haven't owned a non-Coleman cooler in probably 10 years.

The wheeled version allows for easy transporting of your beverages of choice, as the model in the picture, a 62-quart cooler, can weigh over a hundred pounds fully loaded.

Drink smarter, not harder!

Updated Aug 11, 2008

Lists that feature this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Melaleuca Product Store: Body Satin Exfoliating Mesh Sponge

First to recommend

Description

Before you start laughing, let me ask you a question. Do you use those new body wash gels, like Axe Body Wash, with the commercials that claim that women will just pounce all over you the first time they smell you?

You do?

Okay. So do I. I just happen to use a brand that isn't tailored to 14-year-old boys, and I don't believe everything I see on TV.

But have you ever used these body washes with a mesh sponge? Oh, dear God, they're great. Using your hands, or a washcloth, just doesn't get the full potential out of every drop of body wash.

Having used a mesh sponge for the past three or four years, I can tell you this: You will never get as clean in the shower as you will with one of these bad boys. Sure, pick a manly color if you have to -- just get one.

First off, this item is in the "The Clothes Make The Man" section because, obviously, you could be wearing the greatest clothes in the world, but if you smell like a migrant dairy worker, the clothes are meaningless.

Secondly, this item is also in the "WHAT?!? You don't own a....." list because they're 99 cents each. What do you have to lose?

Third... wait, no third. You'll be clean as hell for 99 cents. Go buy!

Updated Aug 12, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Driver Work Gloves

First to recommend

Description

Every guy needs a good pair of work gloves. I'm going to count the number of different ways I've used them in the past month:

1) Collecting/bundling twigs & branches before mowing the lawn.
2) Carrying a 36" TV to the curb for recycling pickup.
3) Hitching up a boat to a truck.
4) Cleaning out my gutters.
5) Dragging old boxes out of the attic.
6) Pressure-washing the patio.
7) Tearing up my brother-in-law's front steps & building him new ones.

That's just in the past month! If you're ridiculously manly and like calloused, cut, bleeding hands, maybe you don't need these... but if you're like me, and you work with your hands AND enjoy being able to actually feel things you touch, work gloves are for you. Toss in the fact that they're less than $5 a pair, and it's a no-brainer.

Updated Aug 12, 2008

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Energizer Lithium LED Weatherproof Headlight

First to recommend

Description

As a flashlight junkie, this recommendation shouldn't surprise anyone. Regular flashlights are great for all of those little things, but what about when it's dark and you have real work to do? I mean, everyone and their mother is walking around with those Bluetooth hands-free earpieces these days... so why not get with the program and get a hands-free flashlight?

Whether you're hiking, working on your car, crawling around in your attic, spelunking, grilling after dark, or just getting freaky in bed, these little beauts are just very handy to have around.

Updated Aug 12, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Pen Tire Gauge

First to recommend

Description

For just $5, you too can join Barack Obama in his war against high gas prices. Inflate your tires, get your car a tune-up (assuming you drive a car that's 20+ years old), and when you get to the pump, bend over and take it like a man.

In all seriousness, though, everyone knows that keeping your tires inflated is a good way to get better gas mileage. Do your part and pick up a tire gauge today.

Updated Aug 13, 2008

List that features this:

For people who like:

Comment

This is:

Viewing 1-10 of 13 Items

Taffastrophe

Taffastrophe - photo

I love browsing. I hate shopping. I love buying. Make sense?

Sites

Give Taffastrophe a compliment

ThisNext: Become a Member

  • Shopping ideas just for you
  • It's easy and free
  • Takes less than a minute

Sign up now

Lists

Image of Taffastrophe

Make a difference!

Updated Nov 27, 2008

Whether it's a charity, a good cause, or just trying to save a favorite TV show, you can make a difference with just a couple...

Image of Taffastrophe

Fun, 1970s-style

Updated Sep 23, 2008

The 1970s were a pretty hideous decade, but looking back and cherrypicking, there are a few things I'd love to hold onto for a...

Image of Taffastrophe

Avoid the knife: Simple tips for healthy skin

Updated Sep 2, 2008

Averse to nips and tucks? Want healthier-looking skin without injecting yourself with botulism? Here's a list of products and...

Image of Taffastrophe

The Man Cave: Things for your secret hideout

Updated Aug 28, 2008

Ever wanted that perfect basement or downstairs room, where you can slip away and hide for hours at a time? This list is...

Image of Taffastrophe

Doggystyle: Great stuff for man's best friend

Updated Aug 22, 2008

A list of things every dog owner should have.

ThisNext Information

Copyright ©2005-2009 ThisNext, Inc.