Lady Wrangler's Miami Summertime Essentials - a list by amygarbo

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Pool Boy

First to recommend

Description

Preferably hot and well hung. Clad him in Speedo’s and make him clean your pool – or fix your plumbing. I wish I could give you a link where you can hire or buy your own pool boy – but alas any websites I share are sure to be legal so my advice is try your local gym or pub. You can also rent a white van and buy some rope – how kinky and economically efficient.

Updated Jun 25, 2007

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Britney wig

3 people recommended this item

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Britney Spears started the trend - well - drag queens REALLY started the trend - well France in the 18th century REALLY started the trend - but this all a digression from the point. Less expensive that extensions - and better than weaves - a wig gives you a toss and go approach to keep your summer hair under control. Just make sure you buy one that suits your natural color. There's nothing worse than seeing black eyebrows and blonde hair.

Updated Jun 25, 2007

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Variosun Suntan Lotion

First to recommend

2 people recommended this item

Description

This suntan lotion from Germany allows you to adjust your SPF. With one bottle, you can have 30 spf blockage, or simple 2 spf tanning lotion, by just turning a dial. The most fab stuff ever.

Updated Jun 2, 2007

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Emilio Pucci Lava String Bikini

3 people recommended this item

Description

Topless tans:
Flat chested or flotation devices, nothing captures the essence of the Rivera than taking your top off in the hot sun. So do it! It gives one a liberating and European glow. Just make sure you pack a can of mace in case any horny beach-goers try to cop a feel.

Updated Jun 25, 2007

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Kombucha by Synergy

7 people recommended this item

Description

Synergy is made with Kombucha (pronounced kom-BOO-cha) a handmade Chinese tea that is cultured for 30 days and then combined with certain fruit juices to make it more tasty. After a rough night of partying I belly-crawled into my local Natural Food Store and read the following words printed on the label: restore, revitalize, replenish, regenerate. That sounded good to me so I bought one. The taste takes some getting used to, however once you start drinking it frequently you'll find your body asking for more. It is loaded with antioxidants and amino acids and has less calories and sugar than vitamin water.

Updated Jun 25, 2007

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amygarbo

amygarbo - photo

a.k.a Lady Wrangler, I have been writing satirical fashion articles since I got in the biz: which was over 12 years...

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